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Dating in the modern city of Jakarta can be daunting. Who asks? Who chooses? Who pays? The first date ultimately sets the pace and the tone of what might follow or how the date ends. Men and women each have their own expectations yet it requires both of them to be in sync in order to have the perfect date.  There is only one way to reach this state of satisfaction and it is through communication. 

​Words are actually only a third of what is required to fully understand a conversation and reach an agreement.  Two thirds of communication is entangled in the mysteries of the unspoken.  Tone and suggestion is the bulk of understanding the spoken word.  

“Let’s go on a date”, “Can I take you out on a date” and” Let’s hook-up/meet” are evidently three entirely different concepts. The one thing each of them has in common is to arrange some sort of DATE. The What, Where, Who, Why and How would be telling and could establish an expectation that could lead to disappointment. Therefor dating in the modern era should shift its focus from creating an expectation to establishing a proper presentation:

 #DatiQuette no.1 

See a DATE as an INTERVIEW. It is a simple mind shift like this that could save you lots of misunderstanding and disappointment. Be very clear that it was attraction and not love that convinced you to go on the date. The aim of the date would be then to present you in the most positive way and also to see the participating party in the most positive light.  Being positive form the get go is key to having a positive outcome. 

#DatiQuette no.2

On the first date the most important thing is to be YOURSELF! Choose an activity for the first date that you are comfortable with and set your boundaries to your own standards. Allow your partner to meet you at your most relaxed state in order to enjoy the journey of discovering each other. Participate fully in the event, this entails at least offering to contribute and to be fully attentive. Treat your date with the respect you deserve, and remember honesty is the best route to take as a web of deceit cannot capture a Perfect Match. 

#DatiQuette no.3

To be straight forward about going on a first date is to be empowered. To know who you are and to see who your potential partner is. Keep in mind that if your partner sees the best in you they might also be more excepting to the worst things about you. First dates are only about putting your best foot forward, so the only expectation there is should be how you present yourself in the best possible way. 

 #DatiQuette no.4

Choose a venue and activity that you are both comfortable with and remember that life is about sharing. Share the experience but remain empowered and independent to end it with possibilities instead of disappointments. If your aim is just to present yourself – success will follow if this date turns out to be your Perfect Match. [@pmjakarta] 

image source : community.sparknotes.com

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