Online Dating : More Advice for You

By  |  0 Comments

If I had to guess, I’d say that people try to encompass and summarize themselves as a whole, and in the process, it turns into generic drivel. In light of this, my best advice is to make your correspondence very short, as light as possible, and ending with an open-ended question.

That’s important because it’s the only thing that’s going to drive theconversation moving forward. In real life, social cues and surroundings can do a lot to inspire conversation topics, but via email, it’s up to the individuals to move things forward. I’ve gotten stuck before conversing with girls who don’t understand this (or just didn’t find me interesting/funny), and it makes things really difficult. At all costs, avoid reading her profile and then launching into a long diatribe about either how pretty she is, how much you have in common, or both. You’re still a stranger to them, and as such, laying it on that thick is really off-putting.

Going on a real-life date

Congratulations. You’ve found someone who seems normal enough, appeals to your eye, can hold up their end of an email conversation, and has agreed that it would be a good idea to meet a veritable stranger in public. That’s half the battle. Once you’ve decided to meet, however, it’s on to act two. The best way I can describe a first-time meeting is like the first time you have lunch or something with a business contact you’ve only dealt with over the phone or email. You know a little bit about them, but that information has been sanitized and you’re not going to have a lot to talk about in person. As you walk to the venue, you’re overcome with the acute and overwhelming sense of dread that comes with the realization that you’re about to meet a complete stranger with explicitly romantic intentions. It’s daunting, to be sure.

Once you meet, you realize that all of the prior emails and innuendos and witty banter go out the window. You know very little about this person and your only topics of conversation appear to be the standard “Where are you from?” “What do you do?” type questions, which are inherently un-sexy. It’s better if you’re good at talking about things going on around you (even if it’s just a sporting event on TV) and relaying a story about yourself that ties into it. This will hopefully encourage her to do the same. Also, booze helps. But not too much. On my very first online date, I was meeting a girl at a bar to watch a basketball game. The first words out of her mouth were: “Ugh, I can’t believe I’m binge drinking for a ninth night in a row.” It should be noted that it was a Tuesday night.

In regard to the venue, I always, always opt for happy hour, and preferably at a bar convenient to both of us. This may sound cheap or classless, but remember this is a stranger you’re meeting. There may be readers who want to whine in the comments about the death of courtship and guys like me being what’s wrong with the world, but I’m sorry — I’m not shelling out a ton of cash on someone I’ve never met before.

This is not the time for a fancy dinner, ever

Logistics aside, most women will tell you that going balls-out on a fancy dinner actually makes for a terrible first date anyway, because it’s just too much. She’s probably just as nervous as you are, unless she’s like one of my dates that was so nervous that she got hammered before I got arrived, thereby alleviating some of the nerves. (We dated for a bit after that, despite my better judgment. She was fun.)

But under normal circumstances, happy hour is perfect because it’s casual, usually in broad daylight, and offers a time constraint. Sitting down over a few beers after work is a great way to meet someone, see what they’re about and set a time for the next date if things go well. It also tells you a bit about their intentions. If a girl agrees to happy hour and proceeds to order $15 martinis that aren’t part of the special, it may be a hint as to what she’s looking for.

It all comes down to the right attitude

That brings me to my last point: intentions. Be open to the new experiences, because you’re going to have them. You’ll meet girls who are only interested in a quick fling or casual sex, girls who want a boyfriend, and even girls who already have a boyfriend.

Without fail, every girl you meet will have some kind of prepared speech about how they only signed up for online dating (because their friends made them, they were drunk, it was a dare, etc.) as a means of conveying to you that they aren’t taking it too seriously, even if they really are. And, really, that’s the key to success with online taking: not taking it too seriously. You may get a lover or even a wife out of it, but no matter what, you’re going to have some stories to tell. For me, that alone made it worth it.

Oh, and the hooking up. All of the hooking up.

source :

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>